Families Advocating for Campus Equality
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Avoid Allegations

Avoid Allegations

How to Avoid the Devastation of Wrongful Sexual Misconduct Allegations

1. Don't engage in any sexual activity with individuals under the influence of alcohol, and don't spend ANY alone time with a drunk (or "high") individual. They may misremember events and be easily misguided into believing something inappropriate happened. Alcohol is known to decrease inhibitions, and many colleges consider consuming any amount of alcohol as an impairment to an individual's ability to provide consent. Additionally, bystander intervention can play an essential role in creating a safe environment on campus. However, you could be putting yourself at risk for a wrongful allegation by helping a drunk individual back to their dorm alone. If you witness drunk behavior and want to intervene, call campus security (or 911 if off campus), preferably while still in the presence of others or security cameras, to report drunk or unusual behavior and leave the individual with a professional.

2. Empower yourself by thoroughly reviewing the school's student handbook. Pay special attention to any policies or procedures for consenting to sex, and be sure to follow all of them. Equally important is a complete review of the student code of conduct and becoming familiar with all the rules that govern student behavior.

3. Avoid potential accusers. People have different personality traits and temperaments; some may be more likely to make wrongful accusations than others. Avoid spending any alone time or having an intimate relationship with individuals that can be described as:

  • bossy, demanding, fussy, or angry

  • self-absorbed or having an entitled demeanor

  • the perpetual victim, regularly complaining about inconsiderate behavior toward them or that some creepy person is pursuing them

  • someone who has or claims to have suffered a previous sexual offense

  • highly impulsive, provocative, or dramatic with intense emotions that change quickly

4. Do not engage in sexual activity with someone you just met (no matter how inviting or attractive). Get to know your potential partner very well before engaging in sexual activity. Consider how differences in cultural, religious, and family beliefs may influence how you and your partner engage in sexual activity. Equally important, consider what friends, organizations, and groups (i.e., advocacy or activist) your potential partner associates with. Do their motives, behaviors, and beliefs align with yours?

5. Always seek CONSENT from your partner before engaging in any sexual activity.

  • What is considered consent? The details of this can vary from school to school (consult the school's student handbook). Still, generally, it is a voluntary, conscious, mutual agreement to engage in sexual activity that can be revoked at any time during the encounter. This means that consent should be given without any form of pressure, manipulation, or intoxication that impairs one's ability to make a rational decision. It can be in the form of verbal "yes," but for added assurance (and safety), you could also have your partner document consent, such as audio/video recording your partner asking you to have sex. You could also ask your partner to describe what they want you to do or what they are into; the more details, the better. If recording, ensure it includes informing your partner they are being recorded.

  • What is affirmative consent? The definition can vary from school to school (consult the school's student handbook), but generally, it is consent that is considered an ongoing process that can be revoked at any time. It involves a mutual agreement that indicates a willingness to engage in each specific stage of a sexual act. The emphasis is on open communication and respect between sexual partners to ensure that all parties are comfortable and consenting throughout the entire encounter.

  • What is considered non-consensual? This can also vary from school to school (consult school's student handbook) but generally refers to the following: verbal comments of "no," "maybe," and "stop," and non-verbal behavior, such as silence, history of previous sexual encounter(s), under the influence of alcohol or drugs that impair judgment and decision-making, and unconscious or incapacitated.

6. Was the sexual encounter consensual? Some students have been able to restore their reputations or standing in school with the help of physical evidence, such as audio/video recordings of all their sexual partner(s) confirming that their sex was consensual after the fact. A suggestion some athletic departments have offered to their athletes to help protect them from wrongful accusations: https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2023/02/16/jury-returns-verdict-in-rape-trial-of-two-former-osu-football-players/69910295007/, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-_rQrk-EXo. Another suggestion is to text your partner after the fact, indicate how much you enjoyed spending time with them, and ask if they also enjoyed your time together. Their response could be evidence of consent if ever needed. This could be extremely helpful if your partner decides weeks, months, or even years later to accuse you of a sexual offense. Please keep in mind all recordings should include you informing your partners they are being recorded.

7. Never apologize for something you did not do (especially in writing). It is not uncommon to say "I'm sorry" when sympathizing with someone (i.e., I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sorry you feel that way, or I'm sorry if I offended you), but this could be misinterpreted as an admission of guilt by some campus officials. Instead, respond honestly and with concern (i.e., ask questions and acknowledge answers), but avoid accepting responsibility for something you did not do. In other words, be extremely mindful of what you text and say (always consider someone other than the recipient may read your texts and make a judgment).

8. Save ALL communication records with your sexual partner(s). By keeping text messages, emails, and social media posts, you can provide evidence in case of any misunderstanding or wrongful allegation. Save these communications indefinitely, or check your state's statute for sexual crimes and your school's timeline for reporting sexual offenses.

9. Attend all parties and social gatherings with TRUSTWORTHY friends. This allows you and your friends to vouch for each other's whereabouts and actions at each event.

 Revised 05/19/24